Fargo ergo sum.

Falor ergo sum. Is this filler text like “Lorem ipsum” or sage philosophical advice from St. Augustine. You probably guessed the latter. Falor ergo translates to “I err therefore I am.” Now this came centuries before Descartes said “Je pense donc je suis” or “I think therefore I am.” Who is right? Or are the both right?

I would argue that St. Augustine’s statement holds the most truth in my day to day life. However, people don’t want to ever admit that they are wrong. Sure we all acknowledge that “humans make mistakes” and “nobody’s perfect,” but can you come up with a single instance in your present life where you know you are wrong. I am not talking about some past realization of your fallibility, but rather how are you wrong right now.

I can’t think of one way that I am wrong at this moment. Not one single way. Tomorrow I might be able to say, well it was a mistake for me to fall asleep early rather than catching up on Glee because everyone is talking about it right now. Or I might acknowledge that the thesis I defended on my literature paper was ignorant and biased after turning it in and reflecting more on the topic. Nevertheless, right now, at this very moment, I couldn’t tell you the ways by which I am currently making mistakes.

This is a somewhat scary thought considering how many people have the utmost confidence in their beliefs, knowledge, and perspective. I think the best way to move forward is to teach people from a young age that “being wrong” isn’t stupid. Being wrong can lead to revelations. Better yet, being OPEN to being wrong can make you so much more receptive to the ideas and experiences of others. Hopefully by acknowledging this in my own personal life, I can become receptive to the perspectives of friends, teachers, and family regardless of age, gender, and racial differences.

Rah Rah Rah Penn

 

University of Pennsylvania Quakers

 

So I have been very busy stressing the last few weeks over college admissions decisions.  And the results are in… next year I will be attending University of Pennsylvania!  I am so thrilled because all the work I have put into high school has finally culminated in this one success.

Now the one annoyance I have now regarding colleges is the name.  Whenever people ask where I am going to school (a question that everyone learns to hate their senior year) I say Penn.  And then the next remark is “Penn State?” And I don’t mean to be pretentious in saying this but I have worked by butt off trying to get into an Ivy League and so I sigh internally and try to explain.  A lot of people do understand but I supposed it will be forever affiliated with a state school.  I wonder of Wash U students get the same thing.  Or perhaps NYU?

Regardless I am going to a fabulous school and ultimately am very content.  Now begins the quest for roommates, housing, courses, etc.  There is so much information that they throw at you.  It is overwhelming! Any advice before I embark on the next four years of my life?

Music Playlists Continued

A while ago I admitted to having a “sleep” playlist that contained my go to music when I needed to unwind to the depressing lyrics of Damien Rice or the Fray.  However, recently I have begun renaming all of my playlists.  Instead of making playlists labeled “chill” or “pop” or “favorites,” I have begun to name my playlists after my friends.

My “chill” playlists is now named Mia because I know she would love all the artists that are on that album.  My playlists of upbeat songs reminiscent of this summer are called Christina and Sammy because those are my close friends I worked with at a summer camp this summer.  My classical music is named Sarah because my friend Sarah is a ballet dancer and the music reminds me of her.

Now instead of trying to name a playlist according a genre or a single adjective or phrase, I have an entire personality I can mold a playlist around.  I still have a lot more work to do though!

 

On the left hand side are the names of some of my playlists

Aimé Césaire

Illustrated Poetry of Aimé Césaire: A Stop-Motion Production

I have to do a poetry presentation on the poet Cesaire so I decided to share it with the world with an illustrated video of his poetry.  I was inspired by the videos of Andrea Dorfman and thought I would take a stab at it.  It took about 14 tries and several hours of one of my snow days last January.

I am crossing my fingers that the link does not get taken down because of copyright infringement on the music, but only time will tell.  I can always substitute the music for something more generic.

Weather by Swackett

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It started as a simple weather application.  My brother showed me this app where it told you the weather conditions for the next few days and actually instructed you on what was appropriate to wear according to the weather.  There are specific editions you can purchase; however, the one I downloaded was the free basic version.  I was pleasantly surprise so find that almost every other day, there is a new “style” that places off of historical people, periods of American history, or pop culture.

It isn’t very helpful to log on and find the Thomas Edison or girls in poodle skirts if you are truly interested in what should be worn outside that day.  However, if you can’t make those decisions for yourself solely based on temperature and the forecast, then you have all kinds of other problems.  I have collected screen shots from the last 2 weeks to share.  Enjoy! I certainly did.

My Dysfunctional Friends

Last night we had the biggest social event of the year.  Dubbed “Winter Rage,” we all trek down to a club we rent out a club in DC to throw our own bash without the supervision of our school.  For the last two years it has been a successful event thanks to the meticulous planning of the senior class.

This morning I found a message in my inbox elaborating on the items left at the after party house.  I thought they were amusing enough to share.  (I mostly enjoyed the pizza crust in the fish tank line).  My friends are dysfunctional.  Here goes:

Lost & found!

Black heels with black and sequin bows

A pair of short brown uggs size 7

A pair of animal/flower print heels

More pizza crust in the fish tank…smh

Black and silver big bead bracelet

A bracelet that’s like a bunch of bracelets in one

Tweezers

Contact solution

A blue tie with pink and green stripes

A red tie with a design

A pink dress shirt

A blue adidas shirt

A pair of small diamond stud earrings

Two iPods

Three unidentified phones

Decorating Inspiration

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As I prepare to leave my home for college, one of my hardest transitions will be learning to share a very small space with another person.  I have many siblings and I have spent long periods of time sharing living spaces with other people, so I do, in fact, know how to “get along” with other people.  However, at home, I have a well-defined personal living space where I can completely control the decorating.  I am not sure how I will be able to retain my sense of style while sharing a room with another person next year.

The pictures I have attached to this post are ones that I have bookmarked over the past few weeks.  They make up an unattainable ideal for which I will strive.  My goal is to create a room that doesn’t feel like a white cinderblock prison.  Obviously I do not have unlimited resources or space, but hopefully I will be able to incorporate some aspects of these pictures into my own future dorm room.

True Life, Post Secret

Post Secret: Loneliness

 

This seems rather self-explanatory, but I will elaborate so that this space does not become a replica of my tumblr.  My philosophy on relationships and people is completely paradoxical.  When I am with my friends, I earnestly pray to be left alone for some peace and quiet.  However, after enjoying some personal time, I grow lonely thinking about the time I could be spending with friends (consequently conjuring up guilty sentiments).  It is a lose-lose situation.  Or a win-win, if you acknowledge the fact that either extreme will bring you some form of happiness.

This PostSecret also reminds me of many trips I have taken.  When I have spent extended periods of time away from home, I always look forward to simply sitting in my own bed with my computer on my lap listening to old rock music.  However, before I left, I counted down the days and repacked my suitcase half a dozen times to ensure I had everything.

Virtual Anonymity

Sitting at the library with my peacoat and Ray Bans... classy and anonymous. I love this Andy Warhol effect.

So I wanted to take a moment to describe the unique nature of my blog.  I am 17 years old.  That being said, most of my peers pass the time by blowing off school work, getting high and/or drunk with friends, and frequenting “ragers” on the weekends.  Let me assure you that I am a socially adept (not inept) person.  So I am in attendance at these events, though I choose not to partake.

I do, in fact, have a whole slew of intelligent and socially adept friends, but I don’t know of any who care to read literature, poetry, song lyrics, and TED.com, quite as much as I do.  In order to cultivate this interest, I have journaled in moleskins (and been called a “poser hipster”) and posted them on Facebook walls (and been called a “spammer.”)  I desperately needed a new outlet.  Hence, the blog.  I don’t know exactly what age range my audience is, but I enjoy the assurance that all these people do not know me.

I will admit that two of my close friends (who both live states/countries away) have the URL to this website.  I did that so that I would be slightly motivated to continue to post.  However, no one in my family has seen this blog and none of my friends at school or in my city have seen this blog.  I don’t even have my full name attached to the blog.  There are certainly safety reasons because I would rather not end up being stalked by an old man, but  I also do it so I have the liberty to post whatever I wish (within reason and always with appropriate content),

The unique aspect is that a lot of people write for a specific audience.  They may be targeting college students, adults with children, older generations etc.  A lot of other people start blogs simply to keep in touch with family.  I have a different motivation.  I want to have a successful blog that has NO audience and NO objective.  This is MY territory.  I welcome readers and comments enthusiastically, but I do not plan on writing for the sole purpose of garnering “views” and “comments”.

So there you have it.  The journal of Colleen Elizabeth [insert last name here].  My haven of relative anonymity on the world wide web.  Welcome!

Paralyzed yet Dancing

I have spent the last month thinking in terms of blog posts.  Whenever I encounter something interesting, humorous, or worth-sharing, I try to take a crude picture with my phone cam and store the idea to make a future blog post.  They always seem like great ideas and I am sure I will share some soon, but I feel rather uninspired right now.  So it has been a little shy of two weeks since I have last posted.

Maybe there is some poetry out there that would fit the bill for this occasion.

Paralyzed Yet Dancing by Colleen Elizabeth

Attached to every finger, each toe

The crooks of my elbows, the bends in my knees

Are tiny weights.

Alone, they are surmountable,

But together they are burdensome.

Paralyzed, I lay in bed,

While my imagination dances.

But each new thought and every

New idea, leaves as quickly as it came.

My mind weighted, the thoughts rush

But I can’t keep up, can’t think any through.

And so I wait, for relief from this weight.

And lay,

Paralyzed yet dancing.